Category: Only Ones

We’re the Only Ones Premium Enough

The Minneapolis Police Department’s “buyback” program allows organizations, sports teams or neighborhoods to buy extra overtime police patrols. But the program has been criticized as inequitable and further stretching the department’s resources at a time when some less wealthy neighborhoods say police are totally unresponsive. [More]

So will the 911 dispatcher tell callers their plan doesn’t cover that because the extra bodies are servicing rich white Democrats?

Or just let them be surprised…?

[Via bondmen]

Flight of Fantasy

Dallas airport shooting: DPD releases police bodycam of suspect who was shot [Watch]

I know we’re supposed to have a justice system with due process and all, but is it really wrong to fantasize about turning her over to the people forced to miss their flights?

[Via bondmen]

We’re the Only Ones Encarcelado Enough

An officer with the Metropolitan Nashville Police Department is currently being held in a Mexican jail after breaking Mexican federal law. Lemandries Hawes was arrested at the airport in Cancun, Mexico on July 9 for having his personally-owned pistol in his luggage. [More]

Bienvenido a la fiesta, amigo!

When it says he declared it with the airline, I’m assuming he meant outbound? What did he do to get it in?

And how is it “highly-trained law enforcement” is this freaking ignorant?

[Via Steve T]

We’re the Only Ones Resigned Enough

NC town’s entire police force quits in protest over progressive town manager [More]

She sounds like a real entitled prize. But don’t worry– she won’t be the one serving warrants or responding to domestic dispute calls, what with Sheriff Bizzell smelling a contract cities opportunity…

Funny, at first I thought this was a repeat of a story I came across earlier this month, but that one was in Colorado.

[Via Mack H]

We’re the Only Ones Tribal Enough

Man, woman hospitalized after being shot by Ute Tribe Fish and Wildlife officer… Stewart said her cousin and her date were not armed, and they were shot in the back. [More]

I’d like to find out more of what happened before making a Little Pig Man crack…

[Via Jess]

We’re the Only Ones Mistried Enough

The jury then sent a second note after 10 a.m. that “we have decided as a group that we cannot reach an unanimous decision or verdict.” [More]

Unless the guy was coerced, insane, under the influence, or sleepwalking, “willful” appears to be self-evident.

I’d be curious to know if more than one juror was the holdout, and if not, about party affiliation.

[Via Michael G]

Modern Sporting Pitchfork

Whip-wielding Florida woman, 56, arrested for STABBING minivan with a pitchfork [More]

The thought strikes that one way to show the ludicrousness of the term “assault weapon” would be to observe that if the same “logic” were applied to this as is applied to guns, the tool in the hands of an “Only One” would magically transform into a “patrol pitchfork.”

And don’t get me started on “Modern Sporting Rifles,” a term I have always found irritatingly appeasing.

[Via William T]

We’re the Only Ones Uninformative Enough

Missouri sheriff says even under ‘threat of arrest’ he will not release gun owners’ info to FBI – ‘I will go down with the ship if need be,’ the sheriff says [More]

I’m sorry, but while everybody’s waving flags, my first thought is “What’s he doing with that information in the first place?”

[Via bondmen]