We’re the Only Ones Losing Enough

$6,000 worth of Lincoln Police equipment stolen from officer’s personal vehicle [More]

Not having professional training, an amateur like me always locks his car.

I wonder what they mean by “other forms of issued equipment,” because the stuff they list just doesn’t add up. Of course, I also wonder why they don’t tell us the moron’s name along with who lives at the apartment complex and what he was doing there.

[Via Steve T]

We’re the Only Ones Tasteful Enough

A Homeland Security agent and his friend were accidentally shot at a wine tasting in Florida when his gun fell to the ground, according to police. [More]

I need to up my training. Not being a professional, my wife and I have been going to a wine-tasting fundraiser for a group we support for many years now, and I haven’t even come close to shooting myself, let alone her along with me.

One question though: Is that what I think it is?

Anybody know if off-duty “Only Ones” are exempt?

[Via Remarks]

We’re the Only Ones ‘Gotta Catch ’em All’ Enough

Former JoCo deputy loses police license after fraudulently trying to buy Pokémon cards [More]

I wonder if I could commit a felony and get a “diversion agreement,” because I can’t tell you how many times “stress and anxiety” have induced me to rip off others…

[Via Steve T]

We’re the Only Ones Humorless Enough

A Louisiana man is fighting in court for the First Amendment right to express satire after he made a joke about COVID-19, and was arrested by a sheriff’s armed SWAT team that confronted him with guns drawn. [More]

Talk about deprivation of rights under color of authority…

The only thing they’re laughing about is their qualified immunity.

We’re the Only Ones in Bad Form Enough

New York Police Making CCW Applicants Sign Warning Forms!?! [Watch]

Evidently in addition to:

Pistol License  
 Form NameDescription No. Pages
Pistol License Application PackageComplete new pistol license package including Instructions, Application, Declaration Form, Pistol Licensee Residence Declaration and NYS Firearms Public Records Exemption Form. 9
Pistol License Handbook Guide for Pistol License applicants and current Pistol License holders in Nassau County. 44
General Renewal InstructionsInstructions for renewing your pistol license. 2
Business Renewal Instructions Instructions for renewing your Business pistol license. 2
Suffolk Resident with a Nassau Business or Security Endorsement Renewal Instruction Suffolk Resident with a Nassau Business or Security Endorsement Renewal Instruction 1
NYS Firearms Public Records ExemptionNYS Firearms License Request for Public Records Exemption 1

What can I say but “Nassau County“…?

[Via Jess]

We’re the Only Ones Electrifying Enough

Idaho Springs police have agreed to a multi-million dollar settlement with a 75-year-old man who was wrongfully tasered by police in May of 2021… Clark was unexpectedly and wrongfully shot with a taser on May 30, 2021, by Idaho Springs Police Officer Nicholas Hanning. The taser deployment caused a chain reaction of medical issues with Clark including a heart attack, stroke and several seizures. [More]

So the already overburdened taxpayers will end up footing the bill for “former officer” Nicholas Hanning’s cowardly brutality. And who’s the lying **** neighbor?

[Via Michael G]

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