Category: Only Ones

We’re the Fauxnly Ones Unretiring Enough

Armed man inside Charlie Kirk memorial venue charged with impersonating police officer… A federal source familiar with the investigation had also told Fox News that the man was a former law enforcement member from another state. [More]

So, he’s not “only” enough…?

And who was the “known guest” he was doing “advance security” for?

We’re the Fauxnly Ones Cosplaying Enough

BUSTED! … Fake Cop Get Confronted and Arrested [Watch]

Be aware of how often these lunatics are reported on, because you never know when you might need an “I didn’t believe anyone acting this way could be a real cop” defense, even if you and I both know damn well of course they could.

UPDATE

Here’s a courtroom follow-up.

[Via Matthew L]

We’re the Only Ones Professionally Courteous Enough

In New York, Some Police Officers Can Drink, Drive and Avoid Charges – Officers in New York State crashed their official vehicles, hit other motorists and arrived to work reeking of alcohol. And yet, they sometimes evaded criminal punishment, an investigation found. [More]

But surely this isn’t something that’s longstanding and systemic, is it?

Is it?

[Via Michael G]

We’re the Only Ones Weaker Enough

Two female police officers vs a short maybe 130lb male. Who wins? [More]

And thing is, he didn’t want to hurt them– the ingrained conditioning against hitting a woman still holds in those of us who aren’t savages. If he’d been actually fighting using punches, kicks, elbows, knees, and fought like you would against a man, they’d have had to shoot him, which ought to be a lesson in itself.

And here I’d expected any one of them to be able to do a three-point landing and take out half-a-dozen linebackers…

It’s almost like TV and movies tell us one thing and reality tells us another…

[Via WiscoDave]

We’re the Only Ones Hotdogging Enough

‘Handsome’ Hawaiian police dog dies after being left in hot car by handler… “The K9 handler involved in this case is devastated as you would expect,” Mahuna said. [More]

“Devastated”?

Not “fired”?

Not “arrested and prosecuted,” as would happen to any one of us if we killed a K9 in self-defense, and in a much quicker and more humane way?

It’s not like this hasn’t happened before.

This take on the story seems more accurate than the “news” headline.

[Via WiscoDave]

We’re the Only Ones Gulling Enough

Safe firearm storage just got more accessible in San Francisco. Mayor Daniel Lurie and Supervisor Stephen Sherrill on Thursday announced a first-of-its-kind program that allows residents to drop off their guns at any of the city’s 10 police stations, where San Francisco police will securely store them for up to a year at no cost. [More]

And best of all, it’s the brainchild of someone with fatally poor judgment in the men she sleeps with!

Question: If they really believe San Franciscans are this stupid, and based on voting patterns that can’t be far off, how is it they’re qualified to handle and transport firearms safely and legally from their homes to the designated drop-offs? It’d be something if some well-intentioned dupe who didn’t pay attention to the details came strolling into a station holding a gun to lock up only to be blown away by panicking Only Ones…

It’s be even funnier if a gun turned in for storage ended up at a crime scene…

[Via Keith B]

We’re the Only Ones Exhausting Enough

“The trooper stepped up and immediately told me my car’s exhaust was way too loud and was disturbing the peace,” Mike continued. “I tried telling him it’s an EV and doesn’t have an exhaust or an engine, and he stated he’s not gonna argue with me.” [More]

The loudest thing I heard was that obnoxious and wholly unnecessary yelping coming from the copmobile. And what’s with “the officer”? The public doesn’t deserve to know this petty Barney Fife’s name?

Interesting, though, that Dodge feels the need to make their EV Charger sound like something not driven by George Jetson.

[Via Michael G]

Give ’em What They Want

And if what they want is you…?

At first I thought I’d posted on this already, but when I checked saw that was just a parroted talking point.

[Via WiscoDave]

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